And I Thought Kakariko Village wasNormal
by Dark McCloud
Summary: veeeeery interesting. LInk. MIdo, Saria, and Malon move to Kakariko villiage. i dunno if i mentioned this in there but it is young link R&R! ~*CoMpLeTe*~ Sorry it took so long to get finished. :)
1. How it all Began...

Disclaimer- I own nothing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Link bounced up and down in the back of the moving van like an excited rabbit doing the Irish Jig. Link, Saria, Malon, and Mido were moving to a nice home in the country.   
  
Link- Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!  
  
Saria- You've definitely had your recommended amount of sugar for the day.  
  
Malon- *dreamily* Kakariko Villiage is just how I imagined it. A beautiful mountainous scene getting covered in a layer of filthy black smoke that obliterates the entire...hey what's going on?  
  
Link- Dunno, but it makes me nervous. Nervous and sad. Like when you question my ATHORITY!  
  
Mido- *from the drivers seat* We're he~ere!  
  
Malon- Hey! Since when did he get to drive? I don't even think his feet reach the pedals!  
  
Mido- Two words. Cruise control.  
  
Saria- The buildings are sooooooooooo biiiiiiiiiiig and talllllllllllllllll! Which one's ours?  
  
Malon- That one.  
  
Mido- No, it's that one!  
  
Link- No it's definitely that one!  
  
Saria- Uh, guys? You do realize you're all pointing to the same building.  
  
Link/Malon/Mido- Ooopsie. Heheheh...  
  
It didn't take long to unload the moving truck, seeing as they had no furniture, save two beanbags, a mattrass, and a lava lamp.  
  
Mido- I wanna play pinball!  
  
Link- Wow! We gotta buy a computer!!!  
  
Everyone gave Link a look and pointed to the computer in the next room.   
  
Link- When did we get a computer?  
  
  
Mido went on to crank the volume up full blast. Soon the only noises that could be heard were those annoying pinball things.  
  
Saria- TURN IT DOWN!  
  
Mido didn't hear her, as he was completely absorbed in his game.  
  
Malon- That's it. Mido gets no sugar for a week. Take that Mr hyperactive dwarf.  
  
Malon took all the sugar in the house and dropped it into a garbage can. Link, who had been out for an afternoon romp, saw the sugar in the trash. He immidiately dug in, taking notice of how even moldy banana peels and rotton apple cores taste great when sprinkled generously with sugar.  
  
Link- *drowsy* I feel sick...  
  
Malon looked his way.  
  
Malon- What's that dwarf?  
  
Link- I'm no dwarf! Mr Dwarfy-McDwarf over there is a dwarf!  
  
Link proceeded to point at Mido, who was completely absorbed in his pinball game when all of the sudden A SCARY GNOME POPPED UP ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN!  
  
  
Gnome- Hi. I am a scary gnome. Welcome to my home. Don't forget–I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!  
  
The derranged gnome proceeded to laugh manically.  
  
Link- Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.  
  
Mido- *whining* I wanna play pinball! Mr Scary Gnome? Would you mind leaving so I can play?  
  
Gnome- Sure!  
  
The scary gnome went to frolic and play with his gnome friends in the super mega deluxe garden of gnomes.  
  
After a long pause...  
  
Link- Well...that went well.  
  
Saria/Mido/Malon- *glare*  
  
Link- Eeep! I was just trying to be positive! I mean, all this negativity goin on here! Eiish!   
  
Mido- I tried positive thinking once. I was positive about one thing. I positively hated it.  
  
Malon- What ever happened to Ganondork?  
  
Ganondorf- It's GANONDORF! How many times must we go through this?!  
  
Link- A really lot apparently.  
  
Mido/Saria/Malon- ...  
  
Malon- I have a question. Why do you always wear a carpet on your back?  
  
Ganondorf- That is no carpet little missie! That is my incredibly handsome and stylish cape!  
  
Mido- *blink*  
  
Saria- Hey! I got dibs on the mattrass tonight!  
  
Mido/Malon- I get a beanbag!  
  
Link- Hey what about me? I am the hero of time you know!  
  
Mido- You're too young.  
  
Link- Forget that trivial little detail.  
  
Saria- I put a sleeping bag in the van. Go grab it.  
  
Link- I don't wanna sleep on the floor!  
  
Mido/Malon/Saria- Too bad.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Didja like? R&R PLEASE! :) Thank you and have a nice day. 


	2. Link is NOT Normal

Disclaimer- I own nothing  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N- This is due to all the nice reviews I got asking for a second part. Thanks guys! :)  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Saria awoke to the morning sun's heat on her face.   
  
Saria- Ahhhhhhhhhhh! SUNBURN! Owie!  
  
Saria continued to scream, waking everone up, except for Link, who was already up. He was in the skulta house next door, laughing manically.  
  
Mido- Where's Link?  
  
Malon/Saria- *clueless*  
  
The trio all of the sudden heard manical laughter from the skulta house.  
  
Malon- But if my hypothesis is correct, he is out in the skulta house next door, laughing manically.  
  
Mido- No, really?  
  
Malon- Yeah, really!  
  
Saria- Lets go see what he's up to THIS TIME.   
  
Saria, Mido, and Malon approached the shed with extreme caution. They pressed their ears to the door and listened.  
  
Link- *manical laughter* Yes! Yes my little minions! I will detonate you all at once and BLOW UP THE WORLD! Mwhahahahahahahah!  
  
Mido- He's gone crazy.  
  
Saria- I think we should go in now.  
  
Malon- *in tears* I don't want the world blown up! I have a life! I have MORALS!  
  
Mido- You have a life?  
  
Saria- Could have fooled me. Speaking of fools...where's Link?  
  
Link- MWHAHAHAHAAH!   
  
Mido- You were saying?  
  
Malon- I think we have to stop him! If he detonates those bombs, they'll explode!  
  
Mido- *panicy* What do you mean EXPLODE!  
  
Malon- I mean *explode*? Ya know, BOOM!?  
  
Mido- *cheerful* Oh, ok!  
  
Saria- Link? Link? Come on out of there! You don't want to blow up the world!  
  
Link- Yes I do! There will be FIRE! *eyes sparkle*  
  
Mido- Pyro.  
  
Link- FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE!  
  
Malon- Beyond pyro.  
  
Link- FIRE! Yay!  
  
Malon- We better pull out our bunny hoods so we can sustain a rapid running pace for several minutes, just in case we have to evacuate the permimeter due to weapons of mass destruction being used against us.  
  
Mido- ...What?  
  
Saria- *slides hand over top of head* Right over the head.  
  
Malon- *sighs* So we can run really fast if we need to escape the psychopathic dwarf over here.  
  
Link- HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT! I'm not a dwarf!  
  
Malon- Too bad you are now.  
  
Saria- You do realize you're the same hight as he is.  
  
Malon- Shut up.  
  
Mido- I'm hungry.  
  
Link- FOOD!  
  
Saria- What happened to blowing up the world?  
  
Link- Too bad now I'm hungry. Now I want food! SUGAR! Sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar!   
  
Malon- Like you need it.  
  
Link- I need SUGAR!  
  
All of the sudden, a big skulta dropped down from the ceiling.  
  
Malon- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I hate spiders! Make it go away!!!  
  
Saria- *cowers* You make it go away!  
  
Link- Eat hookshot evil spider! Mwhahahahahahhaha!  
  
Mido- You don't have a hookshot.  
  
Link- Too bad I do now.  
  
Saria- But you can't get the hookshot yet!  
  
Link- Ask me if I care.  
  
Malon- Do you care?  
  
Link- Nope!  
  
Link went on to pull a hookshot out and shot the spider.  
  
Malon/Saria- YAY! Go Link!  
  
Link- Thank you, thank you. *takes a bow*  
  
Mido- I'm still hungry.  
  
Link- SUGAR!  
  
The four of them headed back to their humble abode, where Saria made pancakes.  
  
Mido- PANCAKES!  
  
Link- SUGAR!  
  
Malon- Will someone pass the syrup?  
  
Saria- I can't find it.  
  
Malon- WHAT? Have pancakes with no syrup?!  
  
Mido- Link used the rest of it on his little Stalfos Knight trap over there.  
  
Malon- ...what do Stalfos Knights have to do with maple syrup?  
  
Malon looked over at a cardboard box in the corner drenched in maple syrup with a series of mouse traps, nails, and other pointy and painful objects scattered around it.  
  
Malon- Wassup with that?  
  
Link- It is a well-known fact that Stalfos Knights love maple syrup. So they have to brave the pointy objects to get to it.  
  
Mido- And the point of it is....?  
  
Link- I'M NOT DONE YET!  
  
Mido- Eep.  
  
Link- As I was saying, before I was so RUDELY interrupted *glares at Mido* even if the Stalfos Knights get to the maple syrup, they're miserable. And that makes me happy. *grins triumphently*  
  
Saria- Nice.  
  
Link- *goofy grin* I know.   
  
Link, Mido, Saria, and Malon finished their syrup-less pancakes. Link glanced around the room, looking for something to do. His eyes fell to the shelves of antique pots on the wall. He smiled a devilish grin.  
  
Silently, Link drew his sword.  
  
Link- Hey guys! Look at the trap! There's something in it!  
  
Mido/Malon/Saria- What? Where?  
  
After they turned around, Link jumpslashed the pots and started throwing them around the room.  
  
Link- Die evil pots! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
When the others turned around, Link held his sword behind his back and whistled to prove his innocence.  
  
Malon- I think we need to take Link out somewhere.  
  
Mido- How about the nearest assylum?  
  
Malon- No, I was thinking more along the lines of...  
  
Saria- *interrupts* An assylum three towns over?  
  
Malon- No, I think we should take him to...  
  
Mido- *interrupting again* An assylum in the next country?  
  
Malon- Stop it with the assylum!  
  
Mido/Saria- Sorry.  
  
Malon- Anyway, I say we take him to the Temple of Time!  
  
Link- FIELD TRIP!  
  
Malon- That's right Link. Field trip!  
  
Link- YAY!  
  
A few short miles later, they arrived at the Temple of Time.  
  
Link- So, what do we do now?  
  
Malon- We sit and observe the peace and serentiy of the area.  
  
Link- Oh. OK!  
  
Link plopped down on the alter, right on top of the Goron's Ruby.  
  
Link- AHHHHHHHHHHH! It burns! Hot hot hot hot hot!!!  
  
Saria- He's a lost cause. Let's go back.  
  
Malon- OK, its almost past Linkypoo's bedtime.  
  
Link- Don't call me Linkypoo! It brings back bad memories.  
  
Mido- Ok Linkypoo.  
  
Link- Grrrrr. I said not to call me that!  
  
Mido- Linkypoo Linkypoo Linkypoo Linkypoo Linkypoo Linkypoo Linkypoo!  
  
Saria- Cut it out Mido.  
  
Mido- Sorry.  
  
Malon- Let us disembark on a not so long and not so trecherous voyage back to home sweet home.  
  
Saria- I get the matrass!  
  
Mido/Malon- I get a beanbag!  
  
Link- Oh no, not again!  
  
Malon- Fraid so dwarf.  
  
Link- I...am...not...a..DWARF! Get it through your THICK HEAD!!!!!  
  
Saria- *sigh* It's a lost cause. Lets go guys.  
  
Mido/Malon/Link- Fine.  
  
So the trio headed back and they went to bed. And Link slept on the floor.  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Please Review! Thanks for all the nice feedback last time! :) 


	3. Round-Trip Ticket to Teletubby Land

Disclaimer- I still own nothing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
So it was another nice, sunny day in Kakariko Villiage. Our four not-so-heroic heros went about their daily tasks with no insanity at all.  
  
Saria- Is it just me, or have you guys reaized that we're being...  
  
Malon- Normal?  
  
*collective gasp*  
  
Link- Noooooooooo! Anything but...NORMAL!  
  
Mido- It's a tradedy, it's a travesty, it's...it's...  
  
Saria- Really, really bad?  
  
Mido- That's it. Thank you.  
  
Link- *randomly* Beware of the giant pink polkadotted penguins. They will come for your soul.  
  
Mido- Really?  
  
Link- And the sun is really a giant purple strawberry.  
  
Mido- You don't say!  
  
Link- And Mido will turn into a green frosted doughnut.  
  
Malon- Well, so much for being normal.  
  
Mido- Noooooooo! Don't turn me into an eggplant! I'm allergic to carrots!  
  
Saria- That whole conversation was random.  
  
Malon- Apparently my definition of 'conversation' is different then yours, because that was definitely NOT a conversation.  
  
Saria- I guess you're right.  
  
Link- For once.  
  
Malon- Exact–Hey! That was mean!  
  
Link- Mwhahahahahahahahah!  
  
And all the Whos down in Whoville, the tall and the small, began singing. But we don't care about the Whos down in Whoville because this isn't centered around them! So, back to the story!  
  
Link- I want SUGAR!  
  
Malon- I want to go for a ride.  
  
Mido- I want to drive.  
  
Saria- What is up with you weird and derranged...creatures?  
  
Link/Malon/Mido- I dunno.  
  
Saria- *cheerful* Oh. OK!  
  
Mido- So lets go RIDE! And I get to drive. Yay!  
  
  
So they all pile into the random red convertable that happened to be right outside. They drove off, not exactly knowing where they were going. Then, all of the sudden, Mido took a wrong turn and they ended up in...(dun dun dun)...TELETUBBY LAND!  
  
Random Teletubby- HIIIIIIIIIII!  
  
Saria/Mido/Link/Malon- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HEEEEELP!  
  
Random Teletubby #2- BIG HUG!  
  
Saria/Mido/Link/Malon- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Random Teletubby #3- TUBBY TOAST TIME!  
  
Random Teletubby #1 & 2- YAY!  
  
And I suppose you're all wondering about Random Teletubby #4. Well, he's off just being random.  
  
Link- Eat metal evil fiend!   
  
Link proceded to jumpslash Random Teletubby #1.  
  
Link- And you two–DIE! Die die die die DIE!!!!!  
  
The other teletubbys got jumpslashed and they ran away. Link took a deep breath, and put his sword away all normally. Then, he got into the car, all normally. Then he sat down, buckled his seatbelt like a good little boy, and folded his hands in his lap.  
  
Malon- That's right Linky-poo. Children should be seen, not heard.  
  
Link- You...called...me...the...NAME!  
  
Link lunged for Malon and started pulling her hair.  
  
Malon- NO! Malon doesn't like it when Grasshopper pulls her hair. Malon wants Grasshopper to CUT IT OUT!  
  
Saria- Oh great. Now she's a Romani wannabee.  
  
Mido- NOOOOOO!  
  
Link- Lets go!  
  
So they pile into the car again and drive off. Beep-beep!  
  
A few minutes later, they return to Kakariko Villiage.  
  
Mido/Malon/Saria/Link- We're BA~ACK!  
  
Random Villiager- Thanks for the warning! *to his random friends* RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!  
  
The random villiager and his random friends ran for the hills...erm, Death Mountain will just have to do.  
  
Mido- I'm bored.  
  
Mido ran back into the house and slammed the door, locking it behind him.  
  
Saria- Link, will you go lock up the car and put the keys in a safe place?  
  
Link- OK!  
  
Link skipped off like a derranged ostrich running through the New York City Turnpike. Malon and Saria watched the bouncing boy skip off happily, then both sighed.  
  
All of the sudden, Mido came out dressed like a sugar plum fairy, waving his cardboard wand. He pulled out a can of glitter and dumped it over the two girls' heads.  
  
Mido- PIXIE DUST!  
  
Link turned the corner, took one look at the two girls, and screamed a high-pitched girlish scream, waking up everyone in an eighty mile radius, including the dead.  
  
Link- You have been...*gasp*...PIXIE DUST-I-FIED!  
  
Malon/Saria- Wha...  
  
Saria- By the way, where did you put those keys Link?  
  
Link- *grins triumphently* I put them in the safest place possible. I locked them in the car!  
  
Malon- ...Tell me you have a spare.  
  
Link- Locked that in the car too.  
  
Malon- So how do WE get in the car?  
  
Link- Uh...  
  
Mido- *singing* Someday, my prince will come.....  
  
Saria- I'm officially freaked out now.  
  
Malon- Me too.  
  
Saria- Should we run?  
  
Malon- Definitely.  
  
Saria/Malon- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
The two ran to Death Mountain, never to be seen or heard from again...until next chapter, that is.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Please review! Sorry this took so long to come out, but with ffn being down and stuff......  
  
Thanks for all the nice reviews so far, I wasn't even planning to make a second chapter, let alone a fourth. But I'll keep going if you guys want me too. Its fun to torture Link. YAY! 


	4. Yet More Link Abnormalness

Disclaimer- Still own nothing...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Saria and Malon awoke the next morning on the summit of Death Mountain. Ya know, I really feel like I'm forgetting something...  
  
Mido- Maybe it's your pants.  
  
No, its not my...HEY! I meant something about Death Mountain!  
  
Mido- Oh.  
  
Link- Maybe it's the fact that Death Mountain is erupting.  
  
That's it. Thank you. Saria and Malon awoke on the summit of Death Mountain, right in the middle of the biggest eruption this villiage has ever seen! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!   
  
Link- Hey! That's my line!  
  
Sorry. Anywho, I think we're really off track now. So, to make a long story short, the two girls got away, where they found Link and Mido in front of the house...erm...playing hopscotch?  
  
Link- *giggle* This is sooooooooo much fun!  
  
Malon- It scares me how well he can do that giggle.  
  
Saria- Yeah, me too.  
  
Mido- Me 999,999,999,999,999.78 (nine hundred ninety-nine trillion, nine hundred ninety-nine billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine point seventy-eight).  
  
Malon- Uh, Mido? I think the next number was three.  
  
Mido- Oh yeah!  
  
Link- POP! Goes the weasel!  
  
Saria- Wha...  
  
Mido- I'm gonna go play PINBALL!  
  
Saria- The infamous pinball.  
  
Malon- That hasn't shown up since Chapter One.  
  
Saria- When all this insanity and chaos and all that other good stuff began.  
  
Saria/Malon- *sigh* They really don't pay us enough.  
  
Mido scampered into the house like a hyperactive rabbit dancing the hula. A few miutes later, the house began smoking and he came out, half his face black. He held up the remains of what was once the computer keyboard.  
  
Mido- Boom.  
  
Link- *pointing at Mido* Dude, you're gettin' a Dell!!!  
  
Malon- What? You watch WAYYYYY too much TV.  
  
Saria- *teary-eyed* I always knew he was destined for marketing.  
  
Mido- Now I can't play pinball! *WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*  
  
Malon- *shakes head* And I'm the only sane one.  
  
Link- Gasp.  
  
Saria- Hey Mido, at least you can look on the bright side.  
  
Mido- *sniff* What bright side?  
  
Saria- There's always ping-pong!  
  
Mido- Oh, joy.   
  
Link- *clutches heart* You mentioned...the name. How DARE YOU MENTION THAT NAME IN A ZELDA FIC! This is ZELDA! Grrrrrrr. Give me a bad name.  
  
Link went ranting on for another five minutes.  
  
Saria- What did I say?  
  
Link- The dreaded...OK, I'll say it, but only once. Pong. *gasp, clutches heart again*  
  
Saria- Pong?  
  
Link- AHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Mido- Pong pong pong pong pong!  
  
Link- *dies*  
  
Malon- YAY! Now we'll be sane!  
  
Link- *reborn* Impossable!  
  
Malon- Oh man...  
  
Link- You MISSED me! *hug*  
  
Malon- AHHHHHHHHHH! COOTIES!  
  
Saria- Oh dear...  
  
Mido- *still holding busted keyboard, mouth hanging open in shock*   
  
  
Link all of the sudden sat down on the ground, apparently in a trance. Mido, Saria, and Malon looked at him strangly, but he just sat there. Mido poked him with a ten-foot stick.  
  
Link- ...  
  
Mido- ???  
  
Link- ...  
  
Saria- ???  
  
Link- ... Ow.  
  
Malon- I think he finally lost it.  
  
Saria- Yeah, but he never had it to begin with.  
  
Mido- *whining* Had what? I wanna know!  
  
Malon/Saria- Sanity.  
  
Mido- Oh. OK!  
  
Malon- You don't have it either Mr Sugar-Plum Fairy.  
  
Mido- *lightbulb over head* Thanks for reminding me!  
  
Saria- Malon!  
  
Malon- Sorry.  
  
  
Mido came out again in his sugar plum fairy costume, waving his cardboard wand. He danced over to Link and held out a can of glitter.  
  
Mido- I'm your fairy god-Mido!   
  
Saria/Malon- ...... ^_______^  
  
Mido- *dumps glitter over Link's head*  
  
Link pulled out a trombone and started playing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. This, of course, sounds horrible because he can't play the trombone.  
  
Saria then pulled out an oboe and started playing Mary had a Little Lamb. This also sounds horrible because she can't play.  
  
Then Mido pulled out a trumpet and started playing Oh When the Saints Come Marching In. Again, it sounds horrible because he can't play.  
  
Malon just stood, watching the antics. Finally, she gave in and pulled out a piano and started playing Jingle Bells. And (you got it!), it sounds horrible because she can't play.  
  
Then all four joined hands around a random bon fire that happened to appear out of nowhere because the author is a lazy frog who didn't feel like writing it in properly, and they started singing Kumbaya.   
  
Mido/Malon/Saria/Link- Kumbaya, my Lord, Kuuuuuumbaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaa!  
  
The innocent little villiagers of Kakariko just looked on at these antics with mild intrest and shook their heads.  
  
Innocent Villiagers of Kakariko- And we're the only sane ones.  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Again, sorry this took so long with ffn being down and stuff, but please leave a nice little review! :) 


	5. Oh DearLink the Chef

Disclaimer- Still own nothing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Malon and Saria walked through the house, looking for Link and Mido. They found them sitting in front of the TV, watching a documentary on porcupines.   
  
Malon- We're going out to town today.  
  
Saria- Hyrule Castle Town.  
  
Malon- We'll be gone all day, so I really hope you two can cook.  
  
Link/Mido- Fascinating...  
  
Link and Mido were glued to the TV, watching the pretty porcupines.  
  
Saria- ...I think we should leave a note.  
  
Malon- Uh, good idea.  
  
Saria and Malon left. After the documentary, Link spotted a piece of paper. It was on Malon's cow stationary.  
  
Link- *reading* Dear Link and Mido, we are going to town. There's a cookbook in the kitchen that you can use to make lunch if you get hungry. Be back around 4. Please don't mess up the house. Signed, Saria and Malon.  
  
Mido- We get to COOK!  
  
Link- YAY! *double take* Do you know how?  
  
Mido- No.  
  
Link- Oh well! How hard can it be?  
  
Link skipped off into the kitchen, with Mido running behind. Link pulled out two frilly pink aprons and chef's hats.  
  
Mido- So what do we make?  
  
Link- Spagetti-o's!  
  
Mido- Sorry. I donated the last three cans yesterday to that dude in the dress at the Temple of Time.  
  
Raru appeared out of nowhere.  
  
Raru- This is not a dress! It is a Sage's Gown!  
  
Link- Isn't a gown the same as a dress?  
  
Raru- NO!  
  
Link-...  
  
Mido- ...It's a dress.  
  
Raru- Grrrrrrrrrr.  
  
Raru disappeared back out of nowhere to the Temple of Time to take little children's Spagetti-o's.  
  
Mido- Ok....  
  
Link- *flips to the back of the cookbook* CAKE! Its got SUGAR!  
  
Mido- Yummy!  
  
Link- Lets see...one cup of flour...  
  
Link spotted Saria's antique vase of rare Hylian tulips. He grabbed it and chucked it into a mixing bowl, vase and all.  
  
Mido- Was that one dash of salt? Or one dish?  
  
Link- There's a difference?  
  
Mido- Nah.  
  
Mido grabbed a dish of salt and added it to the flowers.  
  
Link- Ok, now we need water. Must be for the flowers.  
  
Link grabbed the garden hose and drowned the flowers and the busted vase in water.  
  
Mido- But we need to feed the flowers too.  
  
Link grabbed the plant food and threw that in too.  
  
Link- Baking soda? What's that?  
  
Mido- Lets use Coke.  
  
Link- OK!  
  
Mido poured a whole 2 liter bottle of Coke into the cake.  
  
Link- SUGAR!  
  
Mido grabbed a whole bag of sugar and dumped it in.  
  
Link- YAY!  
  
Mido- Eggs...  
  
Mido took out some Cadbury Créme eggs from last Easter and threw them in, without bothering to unwrap them of course.  
  
Link- And last...oil.  
  
Mido- I didn't get the oil change in the car, but I have gasoline.  
  
Link- Close enough.  
  
Mido got out his gasoline and poured it into the mess.  
  
Link- Now we bake it in a 350 degree oven for about half hour.  
  
Mido- But I'm hungry now!  
  
Link- No problem! We make the oven as hot as it'll go and the cake'll cook faster!  
  
Mido turned the oven as hot as it went and threw the cake in, still in the mixing bowl.  
  
After about ten seconds...  
  
Link- That should be long enough.  
  
Link opened the oven door and the cake exploded in his face.   
  
Link- What did we do wrong?  
  
Mido- Maybe we didn't add enough sugar.  
  
Link- Wanna just get pizza?  
  
Mido- Hold the anchovies.  
  
Link picked up the phone and dialed the Hylian Pizza place.   
  
Pizza Dude- Can I help you?  
  
Link- Sure, I'll have a really big cheese pizza with mustard and pickles, hold the anchovies, and I'd like it delivered as soon as possible.  
  
The doorbell rings.   
  
Link- Thank you.  
  
Mido goes and answers the door. He came back with a giant pizza box.  
  
Link- Yummy!  
  
Mido and Link dug in and chomped that pizza away in minutes. Link looked around the kitchen.  
  
Link- Oh man. This kitchen's a mess.  
  
Mido- We better clean it up.  
  
Mido looked at his watch.   
  
Mido- Uh-oh, it's 3:30 HST (Hylian Standard Time).  
  
Link- You better start now then.  
  
Mido- Me?  
  
Link held out his sword. Mido immidiatly got down on his hands and knees and began scrubbing the floor.  
  
A half-hour later...  
  
Mido- All done!  
  
Link looked in the kitchen.   
  
Link- Ahhhh! Glare!  
  
The kitchen was so sparkling clean you could eat off the floor.   
  
Link- So we won't be needing this!  
  
Link took out a giant axe and started chopping up the table.  
  
Link- DIE EVIL TABLE! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAH...*choke, gag* Bug...  
  
Mido- It looks like we may have to eat off the floor.  
  
The door creaked open.  
  
Malon- We're BA~ACK!  
  
Saria came in behind her, loaded down in shopping bags.   
  
Saria- Why do I have to carry all the bags?  
  
Malon- Cuz I'm not gonna.  
  
Saria- *cheerful* Oh. OK!  
  
Saria looked around.  
  
Saria- Hey, where's my antique vase full of rare Hylian tulips?  
  
Link and Mido looked at eachother and laughed sheepishly.  
  
Link- Uh, what vase?  
  
Malon- And where's my double top secret stash of Cadbury Créme Eggs that even I don't know about?  
  
Mido- Heheheh...  
  
So in the end, everyone lived happily ever after, but strangely Malon never found her eggs and Saria never got her vase back... Oh well!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Review please! Sorry this took so long but ffn was down and I couldn't get it up. You may wanna check geocities.com/loveablelink/index for updates and new stories. If you want. :) Ta! 


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